Ruining Me


Eighteen year old Jay Stevenson is living a horrible nightmare.

Two years ago, she had the world in the palm of her hand, but in one moment, it was ruined. Secrets, lies, and the worst imaginable betrayal haunt her new reality. Burying her problems under a cold facade seems to be the only way to cope until it all catches up with her. Soon, she loses control of the lonely world she built around her, and the past, present, and future collide.

Three guys are there when it all comes crashing down: JT, the perfect boyfriend she never wanted to give up; Rhye, the local bad boy “rock star” who made her forget the past; and Kane, the funny and sweet tattooed bartender who wants her future.

Secrets must be kept. Choices must be made. Is it possible to move forward while still chained to the wicked vices of the past?

I’m really hoping that the copy I downloaded onto my Kobo was a faulty one because if I could go back and tab everything that needed editing, it would probably equal the many deaths in George R.R. Martin’s “A Game of Thrones”.

“So, where did you go after school,” Cal asked?

“I swear both of your eyes couldn’t take in each other fast enough and there was so much electricity that my hair stood on end.”

“Jay, I get you situation.”

“Jay, I just need.”

I cringed and laughed at lines like these:
“Did you know your eyes are like molten silver when you look at me?” “I was just thinking how yours were like emeralds,” I return. We were both whispering as I place my hand against his face and caress his cheek.

Then there are the characters.

You have Kane – your older, 6’2, bartender with a butt you could “bounce a quarter off of it”. He claws his way into Jay’s life by stealing his co-worker’s phone for her number and his text’s opening line actually reads, “You can’t run.” When she stands him up, he circles the bar for anyone who knows her address, shows up at her doorstep in the middle of the night, and has the audacity to ask for an explanation as to why the person who provided him with her address knew exactly where she lives. After some intimacy, he then decides to ask her age because he just assumed there was no way she could still be a minor. Days later, he says, “I can’t wait to meet your friends.” in addition to calling himself Jay’s boyfriend without a proper discussion over the matter. Do I need to go on? Oh yeah, he’s sexy.

There’s Rhye – average high school bad boy, pierced, tattooed, and fails to accept the fact that of them all, Jay cares for him the least. He constantly slithers his way over to her, sexual suggestions or comments in hand. He plays in a band and performed a song at Vortex, aiming his unrequited love-type lyrics directly at Jay and stares at her like she’s “his last supper”. He then rings down her doorbell and drunkenly slurs about how much he loves her. Even as she showers the other two with attention, he does not know when to give up. And oh yeah, he’s sexy.

Lastly, we have ex-boyfriend JT – described as “hot as Hades”. Even though the novel starts off with him having a girlfriend, he pines for the girl who broke his heart two years ago and wakes her at 6:30 because he can’t wait any longer to try to make her see reason. He isn’t satisfied with the lack of closure concerning the end of their relationship and becomes angry with Jay for not confiding the truths behind her cutting him out of her life without a word. He risks all for Jay. Yup, you guessed it, he’s sexy too.

Then we have Jay herself, whose “irresistible” attributes are nowhere to be found the entire novel. I understand that by the time we get to meet her, life has changed her; but it would have been nice to see who she was prior to those events. She has spent the past two years isolating herself from society, encasing herself within unbreakable walls, pushing away anyone who gave a shit. Suddenly and all at once, she has two men from her past and two of her best friends claiming love and loyalty to her after two years of anger and bitterness.

There were maybe two jaw-dropping moments but not the kind that makes your heart stop, the kind that has you flipping back the pages to pinpoint where the twist’s shadow came about, the kind that is necessary to the development of the plot.

All in all, I had sympathy for Jay but that wasn’t enough to really like her story.

2.5 STARS.


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