Day 8: Picking Up The Pieces

Have you ever looked back at the major events in your life and imagined how different it could have been if just one more specific person was there to share them?

The dissolution of friendships is an inevitability of life. You grow and you outgrow. There are the friendships that come to a natural end, with no bitter resentments. There are the ones that lack closure, a question mark as the final punctuation in that story. There are the ones that conclude with screaming and slammed doors, sharp words spit out in the heat of the moment, words they came to regret when the dust settled. Then there are those that you haven’t touched base with in years but can’t seem to leave behind. There were no caustic burns and the only scar that formed was her absence.

She was that for me. And to reconnect with her today was the highest point of my day.

“And when I was young I didn’t understand, but now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird.” – Audrey Niffenegger, “The Time Traveler’s Wife”

You hear people talk of how breathing life back into a friendship, bringing one out of a coma, is a cautionary tale. Awkward pauses, glossing over missed opportunities, having nothing to add to the conversation.

But I glanced at my phone and saw that five and a half hours sped by without my noticing it. And in a booth at East Side Mario’s, with rehashed memories, I remembered who we once were and instantly felt guilt-ridden. Because we both can’t recall the chapter or verse of what happened, because the details have become so vague and blurry … just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for any and all the blame that falls on me for why the pause on our friendship lasted for so long. I never harboured any ill feelings towards you, I always held you in high regard, and I can’t begin to explain how much I’ve missed you all this time!

I look forward to more booth-hogging, coffee and cappuccinos, lunch-into-dinner, pasta lover dates!


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All Roads – They Lead Me Here

For my 114th post, it’s only fitting that I dedicate its content to Mark. Nearly 10 and a half years later and I haven’t once found myself at a loss for words in all the times I’ve declared my unending love for this man.

I used to think being incapable of truly being in love with someone was a deformity, a genetic trait that had passed through the blood flowing through my veins. For years I was under the impression that somewhere in my ancestral make up, the wire that connected one’s heart to its soulmate’s was sliced away, floating into the ether forever searching for the connection it was meant for. Determination for better did its best to bury the alarm six feet under because more than life itself, I wanted to finally shake the loneliness that shadowed me no matter how desperately I ran from it.

There was a looming presence of sadness that took residence in our household after my father left. I truly think it had gotten comfortable there until the day my son was born and only then did it drain of life.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Keep reading.

The One Plus One

The-One-Plus-One1One single mum
With two jobs and two children, Jess Thomas does her best day after day. But it’s hard on your own. And sometimes you take risks you shouldn’t. Because you have to…

One chaotic family
Jess’s gifted, quirky daughter Tanzie is brilliant with numbers, but without a helping hand she’ll never get the chance to shine. And Nicky, Jess’s teenage stepson, can’t fight the bullies alone. Sometimes Jess feels like they’re sinking…

One handsome stranger
Into their lives comes Ed Nicholls, a man whose life is in chaos, and who is running from a deeply uncertain future. But he has time on his hands. He knows what it’s like to be lonely. And he wants to help…

One unexpected love story
The One Plus One is captivating and unconventional romance about two lost souls meeting in the most unlikely circumstances. Intrigued yet?